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Just Off-Camera

"They respect you if you write. The dumber the world gets, the more the words matter." -Dan Jenkins

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Lightning Strikes Todd Bertuzzi Twice

You know how Mike Tice was recently quoted as saying he was upset with Minnesota Vikings fans for scalping their tickets - after he was busted for scalping his own Super Bowl tickets? Well, I thought that was pretty ironic, if not straight up hypocritical.

Then, while I was working at the ol' internship today, someone pointed out this quote from the Sports Lawyers Journal, in an article about on-ice NHL violence following Marty McSorley's stick-swinging attack on Donald Brashear:

"Vancouver Canucks right wing Todd Bertuzzi felt that the incident was, '[d]isgusting, terrible, absolutely disgusting. That does not need to be in the game of hockey. I've never seen anything like that in my life.'" Jennifer Marder, Should the Criminal Courts Adjudicate On-Ice NHL Incidents?, 11 Sports Law. J. 17, 22 (2004) (quoting Ira Podell, McSorley Suspended for Rest of Season for Attack on Brashear, Detroit News, Feb. 23, 2000).

I don't think any comment is necessary here.

Coincidentally, the journal article was in the Spring 2004 issue. Bertuzzi sucker-punched Steve Moore on March 8, 2004 - right about the time the issue was going to press, probably. I'd guess with an extra month, the author might have tried to pull that quote from the article - or at least presented it with a little extra information.

By the way, Bertuzzi will be representing Canada in the Olympics in February. Whether or not that's a good move morally is debatable, but Bertuzzi is one of the best Canadian forwards, so from a hockey standpoint, it's kind of a no-brainer. On the other hand, Sidney Crosby was left off the team, which I was sorry to see. Crosby, at 18 years old, has a chance to play in the 2006, 2010, 2014, 2018, 2022, 2026, and 2030 Olympics. He'd be 42 then - but you never know, Chris Chelios is playing for the U.S. at age 44 this year. I think Crosby has the ability to step into the Canadian lineup even now, and a player with his skating ability and vision would definitely be an asset on the bigger Olympic ice surface. But Sid's quest for seven Olympics will be cut short before it begins.

Oh, and speaking of Marty McSorley and clubbing things with sporting equipment, here's a conversation I had with someone in the office today:

Coworker: Where were you?
Me: Lunch.
Coworker: Where did you go?
Me: The food court in the mall across the street.
Coworker: How was that?
Me: Good. Slice of pizza and a Caesar salad. Pretty standard.
Coworker: Can't beat that with a baseball bat.
Me: Well, you could, but there wouldn't be much point.
Coworker: [pauses, shakes head in disbelief] You lawyers, you're all the same.

Thing is, I've been taking things literally since well before I went to law school. I'm in trouble now.


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