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Just Off-Camera

"They respect you if you write. The dumber the world gets, the more the words matter." -Dan Jenkins


Sunday, May 15, 2005

Infereezy Chizzles

My one remaining final is for Lawyering Skills. After a little bit of review for this exam, I get the feeling that the major skill this exam tests is common sense, which in the legal world is known as an inference chain. Basically, you take some evidence and then you take the conclusion that logically follows from that evidence, and you fill in the reasoning in between very explicitly instead of just assuming that people will figure it out. This is probably because juries are frequently made up of people who are not big on common sense. After all, they couldn't get out of jury duty. Anyway, one of my classmates explained the inference chain quite well on his site.

Now, as easy as this seems, I didn't want to go into the final without any practice on inference chains. So I figured I'd marshal some evidence from Snoop's classic album Doggystyle and see if murder, indeed, was the case.

Evidence: Snoop keeps comin' up with funky-ass s--- like every single day.

Prosecution inferences:
a) The funky-ass s--- which Snoop comes up with like every single day requires inspiration.
b) Murdering people inspires Snoop to come up with funky-ass s--- like every single day.
c) Therefore, murder was the case.
Prosecution generalizations:
a) People who come up with funky-ass s--- like every single day [usually] require inspiration.
*Especially when there is so much drama in the LBC.
b) People who require inspiration [sometimes] are inspired by murder.
*Except when motherf------ lay back in the cut before they get shot.
*Especially when you f--- with the Pound.
c) Therefore, people [sometimes] commit murder.
*Especially when they never hesitate to put a n---- on his back.

Defense inferences:
a) Snoop comes up with funky-ass s--- like every single day because his game grows bigger as the sun rotates.
b) Because his game is so big, he doesn't need to murder people.
c) Therefore, murder was not the case.
Defense generalizations:
a) People who come up with funky-ass s--- like every single day [usually] do so because their game grows bigger as the sun rotates.
*Except when the sun doesn't rotate.
b) People who have big game [usually] don't need to murder people.
*Especially when people put their gun away and run away.
*Except when they gotta take a trip to the MIA to serve someone's ass with a motherf----- AK.
c) Therefore, people don't [usually] murder people.
*Especially when they're gonna smoke an ounce to this.

Evidence: Snoop put some bubbles in the tub so he can take a bubble bath.

Prosecution inferences:
a) Snoop put some bubbles in the tub so he can take a bubble bath in order to get clean.
b) Snoop wasn't clean because he had blood on him.
c) Snoop had blood on him because murder was the case.
Prosecution generalizations:
a) People who put some bubbles in the tub so they can take a bubble bath [usually] do so in order to get clean.
*Especially when they are true to the style on their behalf.
b) People who aren't clean [sometimes] have blood on themselves.
*Especially when they rob motherf------ and kill them blood clots.
*Except when they are up in your bitch.
c) People who have blood on themselves [sometimes] murdered someone.
*Especially when the gun by their side represents them and the motherf----- East Side.

Defense inferences:
a) Snoop put some bubbles in the tub so he could take a bubble bath in order to prepare himself for meeting a ho.
b) Snoop was busy meeting a ho and did not have time for other activities.
c) Because he did not have time for other activities, murder was not the case.
Defense generalizations:
a) People who put bubbles in the tub so he could take a bubble bath [sometimes] do so to prepare for a meeting with a ho.
*Especially when there are bitches in the living room getting it on who ain't leavin' till six in the mornin'.
b) People who are meeting hoes [sometimes] don't have time for other activities.
*Especially when they plan to bang every single ho in '94.
c) People who don't have time for other activities [usually] do not commit murder.
*Except when it's 187 on a motherf----- cop.

Well, you can draw your own conclusions. I think there may be some credibility issues here, though.

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