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Just Off-Camera

"They respect you if you write. The dumber the world gets, the more the words matter." -Dan Jenkins

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I Found My Phone, So You Can Call Me To Hear About The Rest Of My Day

Since I am at a loss for words as to how to describe my day, I think I'll just play it like a season of 24.

12:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m. - I write yesterday's post.

1:00 a.m. to 2:00 a.m. - I begin reading Friday Night Lights. I haven't seen the movie. The book promises to be better.

2:00 a.m. to 3:00 a.m. - I'm sleeping.

3:00 a.m. to 4:00 a.m. - Still sleeping.

4:00 a.m. to 5:00 a.m. - Surprise...still sleeping.

5:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. - I'd tell you what I dreamt about, but I forgot.

6:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m. - Keep reading, this is the last time I'll say I'm sleeping.

7:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. - My alarm goes off at 7:45. I hit the snooze button. My alarm goes off at 7:55. I hit the snooze button.

8:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. - At 8:35, after hitting the snooze button three more times, I wake up. I check my e-mail. Someone has left me an anonymous message on the previous post on this site telling me that, despite their status as someone other than Rachel Bilson, they would like me to call them. I briefly consider the message writer's failure in logic, considering that (a) I have lost my phone and cannot call anyone, and (b) I have no idea who left this message. At 8:40, I get in the shower. At 8:55, I am dressed and packing up my computer, ready for another thrilling day at law school.

9:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. - From 9:05 to 9:25 I walk to class. At 9:30, I am sitting in my usual seat in Property. I discover that, despite missing the last two Property lectures, all I've missed is the intro to landlord-tenant law, and I consider my good fortune to not have slept through classes where the professor discussed cases.

10:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. - I spend the second half of Property playing Scrabble on my computer. At 10:40, I go to Lu Valle Commons and get an early lunch (BBQ chicken pasta salad, if you were wondering). I order the full-sized salad, forgetting once again that the full-sized salads are far too big. I eat about half of it. I feel guilty for wasting the rest.

11:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. - I check my voice mail on a friend's phone. No messages. I go to the library and read the next day's assigned Property reading. I find myself impressed by Justice Arabian's opinion in Hadian v. Schwartz. I wish all cases laid out the standards by which they are judged so clearly, and then applied the standards so neatly. I e-mail my mom to ask her to call the body shop where my car is being fixed to see if it is ready. I miss my cell phone.

12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m. - I finish my Property reading and screw around online for a while. At 12:30 someone who reserved the room in which I was sitting asks me to leave. Because I don't have much choice, I comply. With a half hour to kill, I get myself some coffee. I put the machine on the weakest setting because I'm worried about a potential caffeine addiction.

1:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. - I watch the first half of A Few Good Men for my Lawyering Skills class. I've never seen it before, and I'm glad to see Kiefer Sutherland make an appearance. Apparently Jack Bauer learned to kick ass as a Marine in Gitmo.

2:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. - The professor discusses ways to use inferences to connect facts to factual propositions which we want to prove. I play some more Scrabble. At 2:30, class ends, and I have to save my Scrabble game. I have the highest computer setting on the ropes, and I've only beaten it once before. I'll try to finish it off in Property tomorrow. I try to talk a friend into giving me a ride to El Segundo to pick up my car in the event that it is ready to go. Knowing I won't be able to call him, he tells me he might be able to and then bails on the conversation.

3:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. - I walk home from class. At 3:10, I get home, check my e-mail, and find that my car is indeed ready, but it must be picked up by 5:00, or the rest of the nuclear reactors will melt down. (Just wanted to see if you were still paying attention. Actually, this season of 24 would have been canceled long before I woke up.) I now am forced to IM everyone I know in L.A. with a screen name and beg for a ride. Finally, at 3:45, with just enough time to get to El Segundo, I find someone willing to help me out. Let the record show that I owe Tony Ryan a huge favor. I jump in the car to drive back to the law school to pick him up. As I leave my apartment's garage, I hear a ringing. My phone! It's somewhere in my car! I get to the law school and ask Tony to call the phone so I can hear it ring. I find it buried under the track which the driver's seat slides on. I kick myself for not having found it last night.

4:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. - After a stop to get gas, we're on our way to El Segundo to pick up my car. It occurs to me to check my voice mail to see what message led to my phone's discovery. It's the MRI place where I have an appointment for 2:00 on Wednesday. They tell me I'm late for my appointment. It's Monday. I call the MRI place and tell them that they're wrong, that I couldn't have an appointment for today because I have class at 2:00 on Mondays, and besides, I had written down twice that the appointment was on Wednesday. They insist they are right. Since I don't have much choice, I agree. They tell me I can come in at 7:00 tonight. At 4:45 Tony and I have traveled the 13 miles to El Segundo. I hate traffic in Los Angeles. I see my car, looking nice and shiny and free of any damage from the accident caused by that stupid bitch whom I will address in a future post. The body shop even popped out the ding over the front right wheel that's been there for over a year, even though the damage was to the grill area. I go into the body shop to pick up the keys and sign off on the work. The shop's owner tells me that there's been a mistake, that they still have to check the alignment, and that it was someone else's fault. I'll have to come back tomorrow. Because I don't have much choice, I leave without my car. I consider giving it a hug goodbye but resist.

5:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. - I drive home, dropping Tony off on the way. I feel terrible for dragging him to El Segundo for no reason at all.

6:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. - I read the recap of the latest episode of Alias on www.televisionwithoutpity.com. At 6:30, I print out directions to Wilshire Open MRI, which, according to the Yahoo! Yellow Pages, is at 11927 Kearsarge St., which is in Brentwood, less than three miles from me. Because I know what traffic around the 405 is like, I leave at about 6:35. At 6:50, I arrive at 11927 Kearsarge St. It is most definitely not the place I am looking for. It is, well, a mansion, gated driveway and all. Perhaps the doctor from Wilshire Open MRI resides here, but his business certainly doesn't. I call Wilshire Open MRI and ask where they are located. They tell me they are at 1127 Wilshire Blvd. I sincerely hope that this is close by. I call my mom and ask her to Mapquest it for me. 1127 Wilshire is in downtown Los Angeles. I am about 15 miles away. I consider the prospect of driving through more L.A. traffic, say some things that would upset the FCC, and then call Wilshire MRI back and let them know I am running late.

7:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. - Traffic on the 10 does something unexpected. It moves. I make it to Wilshire Open MRI at 7:20. The door to the building is locked, but I can see someone in the waiting room. He lets me in. He is wearing scrubs and a South Pole fleece. He's sitting in a chair in the patients' area of the waiting room, looking bored and watching the Lakers game. He is apparently the guy who is supposed to be behind the desk. I sign in and fill out the necessary forms. No, I have no history of heart failure. Yes, I have had surgery in the past. Yes, I have a wire on my bottom teeth. No, I am not pregnant. I hand him the doctor's referral and the MRI prescription. He takes it into the back. At 7:35 he returns and informs me that the prescription is for both an MRI with contrast and an MRI without contrast, and that the doctor must be there in order to do the MRI with contrast. He also informs me that the doctor is only in from 9 to 2. Because I don't have much choice, I schedule an appointment for later in the week - Wednesday at 9. I consider this ridiculous, since (a) my original appointment was at Wednesday at 2, (b) the doctor would have left by then anyway, and they knew I needed an MRI with contrast, since I faxed them the prescription over a month ago, (c) I just drove downtown for no reason whatsoever, and (d) now I have to miss Property for the third time in a span of five classes. I consider returning to 11927 Kearsarge, dropping a deuce in a paper bag, lighting it on fire, ringing the doctor's doorbell, and booking it. Instead I call my mom. Since I am halfway to Pasadena anyway, I figure I'll get her to buy me dinner to help stop the freefall that my day is in.

8:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. - At 8:10, I find a parking spot a block from the restaurant. As I am pulling into the spot, a car honks at me. While I am cuing up the finger, I look over at the offending driver and realize it's my mom trying to say hi. I walk to the restaurant, half expecting to step in dog crap or get a call from my ex. Neither happens. The night is beginning to look up. I eat dinner with Mom at Gordon Biersch. I have a schwarzbier, which is one of my favorite beers, and a BBQ chicken pizza. I talk about the usual with Mom. I mention that the waitress is cute. Mom thinks I should ask her out. I think this is an awful idea. Mom also tells me she'll be able to give me a ride to El Segundo tomorrow. The day continues to improve.

9:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. - At 9:30, I leave Gordon Biersch. I did not ask out the waitress. Maybe I should have. I get home at 10.

10:00 to 11:00 p.m. - I change into some clothes in which I can bum around my apartment. I realize that while I was running around Los Angeles accomplishing nothing, I missed 24. I'll have to check the recap on TWoP later in the week, or maybe find a pirated copy of the episode online. I legally download a recording of Samson et Dalila on Napster and burn a CD of the best songs from the opera. I read some more of Friday Night Lights.

11:00 to 12:00 p.m. - I recap my day. This reminds me of the scene in Spaceballs where they watch the movie at the time they are in it. I think I'll wrap this up with some of the funniest dialogue in the history of cinema.

Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
Colonel Sandurz: Now! You're looking at "now," sir. Everything that happens now is happening "now."
DH: What happened to "then?"
CS: We passed it.
DH: When?
CS: Just now. We're at "now" now.
DH: Go back to "then."
CS: When?
DH: Now.
CS: Now?
DH: Now!
CS: I can't.
DH: Why?
CS: We missed it.
DH: When?
CS: Just now.
DH: When will "then" be "now?"
CS: Soon.


  • At Tuesday, March 01, 2005 4:56:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    And you missed my logic, so I guess we're even. And by the way, I am not in your phone. I should be... oh well, your loss.


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