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Just Off-Camera

"They respect you if you write. The dumber the world gets, the more the words matter." -Dan Jenkins


Thursday, March 04, 2004

Get Your Freak On

I spent most of my day yesterday with two songs in my head: Missy Elliott's "Get Ur Freak On" (I hate the intentional misspelling) and Ice Cube's "Today Was A Good Day."

The former was because the Eagles came out of nowhere and snapped up Jevon "The Freak" Kearse off the free agent market the instant it opened. The latter was because said signing made today a very good day, indeed.

How great is this (assuming you're an Eagles fan like I am)? The Redskins were the frontrunners to get Kearse, and the 'Skins have already reloaded with Mark Brunell and Clinton Portis this offseason, so seeing the Birds swoop in and pick up the best defensive end on the market made my day.

Even though Kearse's sack numbers have been down and he's been injury-prone his last few seasons, I still like the move. He did, after all, have more sacks than the Eagles' defensive ends had last season.

Kearse was locked up by the Eagles through the 2012 season. Donovan McNabb will be wearing the midnight green through 2013. With those two stars, hopefully the Eagles will have the anchors of their defensive and offensive units for years to come.

Kearse wore number 90 with the Titans. Corey Simon already sports that number with the Eagles, so I wonder which number Kearse will choose. 92, 93, and 96 are available, as far as I know. I'd say it's a safe bet that Kearse's jersey will quickly become the second-best seller of the Eagles' players. A Kearse jersey would also be a good investment, considering he'll be around for eight years.

Of course, now watch him fail his physical today and nix the whole deal. Knock on wood.

Kearse's signing put me in such a good mood that I wasn't even too bummed out by the Flyers watching the top two defensemen on the trading block go to Eastern Conference rivals.

Actually, the Flyers will probably still make another move or two before the trading deadline on Tuesday. Which brings me to a point I'm very happy to make. My three favorite teams - the Flyers, Phillies, and Eagles - are all actively making the roster moves they need to make in order to chase a championship. Is it possible that Philly's 21-year championship drought could end soon?

Of course, with the possibility comes pressure. As my brother eloquently put it, "Someone better f---ing win or I'm gonna go apes---."

***

Have you seen the test that former Georgia assistant basketball coach Jim Harrick Jr. gave to students in his class "Coaching Principles and Strategies of Basketball?" When I first saw it, I really thought it was a joke. A very unfunny joke. The test is like something you might get in a chain e-mail.

Here's a sample question from the test:
"How many points does a 3-point field goal account for in a basketball game?
a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4"

The test was 20 questions long, and it was the final exam - the only basis for final grades given in the class. As you might guess, Harrick taught the class to basketball players so they could get an easy A. The funny thing about this (well, the whole thing is funny in a twisted way) is that Georgia released the test in response to Harrick's lawsuit that the university defamed him.

Well, I think releasing this test will be a good way to defame him further. And you know what? He deserves it for committing such blatant academic fraud.

Here's my favorite question from Harrick's final exam:
"What is the name of the exam which all high school seniors in the state of Georgia must pass?
a. Eye Exam
b. How Do The Grits Taste Exam
c. Bug Control Exam
d. Georgia Exit Exam"

The How Do The Grits Taste Exam? I wish Harrick had created one of those. Then he could have been really creative with answers.

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